When what was once your absolute surrealism becomes more and more realistic by the moment, what kinds of thoughts haunt you? It’s like a sudden shower pouring over your head when you were outside staring at a city’s skyline on a cold day.
Would you walk away and take shelter, or would you take a deep breath and keep walking?
Reminiscing is made easy when a reminder from the past, the very recent past, keeps you blinking with eyes alert; when images, taken from another’s eyes, appear before your very eyes; when you wake up, not wanting to wake up, and see your own dream vivid in your head.
Then you start to doubt yourself, because you thought you’ve learnt.
But is it such a sin, wanting not to let go, wanting to grasp what you thought you have, wanting to relive everything you really had?
If only people could live in many realities. Then all my questions would be solved, my curiosity quenched.
On days, the black starless sky can be as alluring, and as convivial, as a great grey one. If I were large enough to hug it close to my chest, I would. But for that time being, with feet glued to the ground, I felt content silently falling under its spell, and being stunned.
Coming to a halt proves to be more difficult than expected. Though the scenery had changed, the talking, the pondering, and the wonderment of it all remains. The facts, laid out eloquently, did nothing to answer the question:
It’s the old formula in writing a song. Put one in, and you’re golden.
But in a different context, seen from a different pair of eyes, absorbed by a different mind – it’s an entirely different matter, one I should probably neglect for the better.
I did walk to the edge, but thank god I didn’t tumble over.
I’ve always envied the people who could stand still behind a lens. To capture moments into pictures, so long as we’re not entrapped in its seamless surface.